That title is click-bait isn’t it? 😉 I mean come on – it’s impossible! Or is it?
As someone who chose to work after having kids, I’ve struggled with the decision for the majority of the time (who’s kidding, the entire time). Sometimes, I just want to throw in the towel and quit. But I can’t now. The business that I started employs my husband and I. It’s our families well being, without it, we’d need to find another way to pay all those bills (hence I’d probably need to work for someone else, and I just can’t do that again after all these years, this month—today actually—we’re celebrating year 5 in business!).
I’m an avid reader, and although I’ll admit I’ve read a lot less since having my boys (although this year I’ve been doing a lot better), I still look for inspiration, and guidance from other working moms via book. Lean In, had me think a lot, and made me even more grateful for my supportive husband, who without, I couldn’t lean in. I also turned to my favorite TV couple, Chip & Joanna, for their inspiration in their book, Magnolia Story. It was amazing how many things they went through that Nic and I experienced in different ways as we’ve built our business. Although, no one wants to sit in our office all day watching us work on computers for an HGTV show, darn-it! 😉
But in the end, although those books were good. They didn’t give me the working mom advice I wanted. But I’ve realized, I already knew it, we all do, I just had to learn to listen to it.
If you don’t have balance in your life, you’ll alway be off kilter, and unhappy. Balance, I believe, is one of the keys to happiness. And so, this year I’ve made a conscious effort to work when I’m working, be with my kids when I’m with my kids, my husband, when I’m with my husband (well except all day when we’re working), just be more present. I’m learning how to enjoy each moment. How to put down my phone and forget about the emails and do what I need to do in that moment.
Having it All.
Nic is a musician. An awesome musician I might add. And he was working on a song earlier this year. One of the lyrics went like this “I can be anything I want to / but I can’t be everything at once.” He was going to change it. And I asked why. I told him that one lyric actually resonated with me so much. I can be anything I want to be. But I can’t be it all at once. I can’t be class mom, activist, consultant, website designer, project manager and business owner all at the same time. But, I can do each one, one at a time, and be them all. I can have them all, just in their own, individual time.
This is the fun part! It’s letting go of the judgements that come with being the working mom. The feelings you get when you feel like you’re left out because all the other moms went out for coffee and you had to work. The feeling that your missing out when you’re doing something else. You’re not! You forget that maybe they are jealous of you that you have a break from your cranky toddler during the day. That you get to go have lunch with your husband on a Wednesday, because you need to “brainstorm” for that website you’re working on. Everyone’s life looks greener from the other side. So, we all need to stop worrying about everyone else’s life and enjoy our own! It’s hard to do, I still struggle with it, but I’m definitely happier when I do.
So here I am. A working mom, doing my best to find balance, have it all, and enjoy it.
I still can’t believe it’s been 5 years since I said goodbye to my corporate job and started up Creare. I can’t thank all of my clients enough who over these past 5 years have inspired me to become a better designer and a better person. And, I look forward to continuing to build this company, by creating more websites, and supporting more “small businesses.”
Here’s to clients that are friends, websites that are business tools, husbands that are business partners, and a future that has no bounds. Don’t you want to join us on this crazy ride? firstname.lastname@example.org